This one-and-a-half-minute video shows my sister-in-law Hilary with her mom Shepley (voice only) and her kids, i.e. my nephew Leo and niece Ruthie. Many of you know that my grandma Ruth passed away two and a half years ago and this is her namesake.
I know this is a grainy video about someone else’s family whose classic Talking Heads soundtrack is rudely cut off in the middle. But still, I suggest that you watch it, and I invite you to ask yourself — which one do you identify with at the moment?
Is it the grandma, who offers up reassuring institutional memory, sees a grandson's needs, helps a tired mom relax just by showing up? Is it the big brother who’s proud, and worried about whether there's enough love to go around, and still playful all at once? Is it the mom who is able to see and accept two people's different needs, stay present and improvise? Or the baby, whose sensory experiences wash over her to her wonderment, not yet incorporating sounds, sights, and physical sensations into the categories we later develop, not needing to speak?
These descriptions, of course, are all my own projections, because they’re all in me. Perhaps the baby most of all, at this moment. Let me know what yours are :)
Love,
Anna
P.S. I hear that on social media, it’s important to admit the publicizing of prettier-than-average moments. This adults and kids in this family also fight, tantrum, miss opportunities for connections, have difficult relationships with other relatives, and snap at each other [not pictured].
P.P.S. This is the first year that I’ve actually posted on my assigned day. Either you all need to get me checked by a neurologist asap, or I need to reread my copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting a 378-Month-Old […to Emerge from Your Previous Self]. Maybe it’s normal, like Ruthie (Ruthie LR, that is) “finally getting more careful with sorries.” (I loved that, R.)
Transcript of the video.
Shepley: You think it’s going to be white because she’s been only drinking milk?
Leo: Um, milk is her drink AND her food.
Hilary: You’re right, that is so true.
[Music plays and Hilary tickles Ruthie’s head and torso while she lies on a playmat.]
Shepley: That’s what your mom used to do with you, Leo.
Leo: Mom, can I play next to Ruth too?
Hilary: Yes, please do!
Leo: I’ll go on it too?
Hilary: Yeah, go on it too. That’s a great idea.
Leo: Because we’re both babies.
Hilary: Why don’t you move all the way onto it so your head can be right next to hers?
Leo: But now my feet are out.
Hilary: You’re right. But I’ll put them up in the air like hers.
Leo: No, I don’t…
Hilary: Or you can curl them up a little bit like hers, bend them?
Music: Home is where I want to be, but I guess I’m already there…
[Leo lies down and turns towards Ruth. Hilary rubs Leo’s back and Ruth’s tummy.]
Pick me up and turn me ‘round…
Leo: No no, do what you were doing with Ruthie.
[Hilary tickles both kids’ torsos. Leo smiles.]
Leo: You’re tickling your babas.
Hilary sings:
I feel numb, born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun.
Yeah, I’m tickling my babas.
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along…
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