Same time next year?

Cherished ones,

I'm honored by your presence, inspired by your words (especially yours, Caroline). I looked back at old posts and laughed at the ways some of us use the same phrases and make the same jokes. I love that within overlapping Venn diagram communities, this one is a community all its own.

At the end of January, Eve Hoffman and I climbed Mount Kenya, as you probably heard ;] Throughout the hike, I kept telling Eve she had to wait for me to take a Harry-Reis-Extreme-Close-Up photo for my forthcoming book, "Flora of Mount Kenya." By book, I guess I meant Febproj post. So, here it is: 

the one that looks like a muppet, which is soft and you can touch it and pretend it's your friend

the one that looks like a flower you've seen before, but has super pretty droplets

the one that looks like a grapey alien

THE FUZZY ONE

the one that sort of looks like pine needles but is stars, which is obviously cooler

THIS ONE WHICH IS FULL OF WATER AND WHICH IS SO SYMMETRICAL AND I LOVE IT THE MOST BUT DON'T TELL ALL THE OTHERS

I took more (obvi) but they came out blurry on account of also trying to climb to 16,000 feet. Multitasking is hard. I felt more present during this hike than I can ever remembering feeling before, and it makes me feel happy and full to share a little bit of the experience with you, here. 

With all my love and admiration,

Ruthie

PS we really did do it:

the one in which the hardest part of the final ascent was how much my nose was running and how much it hurt and yes, if you must know, I did cry about it

BIIIIG FEBRUARY PURIM

Friends -

I cannot imagine a better way to end February than with the start of Purim.

The BIG Purim also closed the month of the fateful February of 2010.

It is wild to think that each of us has Februarized in such distinctive ways throughout this month - each with his/her own experiences in different corners of the world -- and somehow we are all exiting February together, unified by the wackiest of holidays.

I recently had a friend share with me that the Purim costume is all about tapping into a part of yourself that is not normally or easily expressed throughout the course of the year. I have begun reflecting on my past costumes in this light and thinking of the ways in which my monochromatic, buttoned-up day-to-day style gets nahafochued on purim when I traditionally find myself wearing tights, a dress and/or something bright and shiny. (I will be dressed as Eleven from Stranger Things this year alongside Viki who will be dressed as Hopper.)

In a certain regard, February is the נהפך הוא month for many of us. The month when our worlds were turned upside down.

There is something relieving and exciting about leaving February behind and returning to the normalcy that is the rest of the calendrical year. But there is also a form of sadness in leaving February behind, the month wherein we have the ability to tap into (an oft-broken) part of ourselves that is not usually expressed during the rest of the year.

So as we begin this big Purim and end the month of February, I bless us to spend this last day diving deep into that liminal space between drunkenness and mourning --- and allow ourselves (and those around us) to fully express those elements that so desperately deserve to come to the surface and be celebrated.

Much love to ya'll from Tel Aviv/Jerusalem.

Jonah

Standing on the Verge

Today in NYC feels like one of those days back in Providence where spring would poke its head out just to remind you it exists, even if only in the future.  I think it was summoned, as always, by our collective resignation to winter's eternity.  Spring is real and you deserve to know.  And it is in this moment, as the world stands on the verge of getting it on, that I wanted to share a Tiny Desk concert I stumbled across last month.

I imagine most people here have seen quite their fair share of Tiny Desk shows.  If you haven't, I recommend watching another one before this to see the contrast.  While most performers take Tiny Desk as an opportunity to pare down their music to the minimal parts appropriate for an NPR setting, George Clinton & The P-Funk All Stars bust in like there's 50,000 people in the room.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAcW7zgAD4

May we soak in the sun as it bursts into winter and P-Funk as it bursts into NPR.

Love to you all,
Nat

february 25, 2018 - hugs and connection

****

What am I going to write?

Well, I could write about how this year, February came in December and January for some people very close to my heart. About how everybody seems to have a February, and for some people, February is in February, but for some people, it’s right now. What I mean by that is… it’s always someone’s February. And this is just another reminder to approach the world with utter gentleness and awe.

Human beings are simply amazing in their capacity and resilience and and and…

****

Third year of medical school is our first exposure to clinical medicine, to patients and to the privilege of patient care. I’ve been having a lot of trouble giving words to this process. This year is the first time I’ve experienced my daily February-ness through the lens of a hospital… In some senses, the way that death is so much a part of daily life feels “normal,” like in other parts of life we aren’t encountering that deep truth, and at the hospital, it is woven into the moment to moment. So authentic on some level. And also, my tender heart.

Why are there moments in life when death feels so close? All around us…

And do I have wisdom to share with the people going through that sort of time, except to say, “Mmm”? Not really.

But we can give hugs.

****

Something really hard for me in my “professional persona” is conveying my “love” (because who are we kidding, that’s what it is at the end of the day for me) to the people I am caring for/learning about, to the people whose stories I am listening to and bearing witness to without physical hugs.

There’s obviously a lot of putting my hand on my quivering heart to try and express it, and there was that one time (okay, twice), when (I think because I’m studying medicine in Israel specifically), I blew a kiss to a 6-year-old cutie patient. (I mean, who hasn’t had a crush on a 6-year-old recently?)

****

I had an oral exam on Wednesday, after which I decided to sit outside and try to continue studying for the next test. I was sitting with my big binder open, and this younger woman (40s) asked if I could watch her two coffees for a moment. She returns with an older woman (80s). I move my bag to make room for them to sit, and we start chatting and laughing. There was a spark of connection. The older woman says to me, with a smile, “Would you believe that she and I only met two weeks ago?” And I was like, “I thought you were related!!” The younger woman turns to me says, “Are you ready for a story? My mom died 8 months ago. And two weeks ago, I found a job as this lovely woman’s caretaker, and since then… she took me in as her daughter.” She is crying, and I am so moved… I told her immediately, your mom was looking out for you. And then I shared that my mom died 8 years ago almost to the day.  They obviously invited me to come for coffee any time I am in the neighborhood.

A moment of connection that meant the world to me.

***

I miss my mom.

She gave me the moon. Eight years… 8… a symbol for infinity. Infinite love. 

Dudi and I just finished a FaceTime call-in to the azkara for my mom. The tears just started flowing and flowing. It’s the second time this month that it has felt like a faucet that has opened and now the stream is flowing…

Going to continue to let it flow, to shatter me open, and make me whole at the same time, as Tricia said.

This year, we published my mother’s book, “Raising Secular Jews” by Naomi Prawer Kadar. I have never felt such pride. I hold both her dedication and her acknowledgements close to my heart.

Poem Addendum to Jana's post

Here's to re-seeing February:

Virginia Street   Jennifer Hayashida

February on another coast is April here. Astrology is months: you are February, or are you June, and who is December? Who is books read in spring, wingspan between midnight and mourning Another starry tree, coastal counterpoint where magnolia is a brighter season peach and pear are grafted onto the same tree fear and fat stick to the same sprained bone For this adolescent reprise recycle everything trivial but this time bring the eye into sight: make sight superior to what is seen A decade is to look at June and see April to look at April and see February Relief of repetition seasons mean again, one flowering branch suspended in the half-light of spring We sat on steps beneath a tree No: I walked by The tree bloomed and I looked up

February 21

b"h

Hi Friends!

I've been having a dense February--some days feeling downright April-y, and others feeling like four Februaries in one afternoon.  So that's nonlinear and fun!

If you've been watching the Winter Olympics, today's February Project share might be old news already, but since the moment I saw Adam Rippon skate in the team event last week, I kind of knew this belonged on the blog.  I've just never seen anything like it; it's so beautiful, so emotional, so full.  I tried to isolate just Rippon's program from this clip, but I couldn't reconfigure it and this isn't on YouTube, so you'll need to skip to the 29-minute mark (the third grey vertical line on the bottom bar showing your video progress). I hope the extra step won't dissuade you from jumping in to this.  It's making my month in a big way.

Also, today is my and my partner's anniversary (random date assignment gone right, Ruthie!). I'm extremely grateful for him.  I won't gush, but the funny thing I wanted to share with this knowing and wise crew is that when he and I started dating and I had a feeling we'd stick with it, I regretted that we had kicked things off in February. It feels cursed, and yeah, we did start dating last February, but I don't even think I was all that into it until mid-March, so I have been tempted to suggest that, even though it's all rather silly, we bump up the date and steer clear of this awful month. I have felt that even though I have something special to celebrate in February, it nonetheless wouldn't be able to bear the weight of the month's general awfulness. Somewhere along the way, I became resigned to February being shitty, and adopted some kind of containment policy. But of course, the whole point of sharing together every day on this blog is to reclaim our time together, and run toward the joy when it presents itself, and when we feel empowered to make more of it.  So, in that spirit, happy anniversary to me!

Selah,

Jana

February 20: Of death and hedgehogs

Hi friends -

What a treat to be part of this community of Februarians again.

Two things to share:

1. I loved this chapter by Bradley Artson on G-d as a Process, particularly this take on death:

2. Here are a few shots of a hedgehog going camping with tiny Coleman product placement goodies. I don't know why this tickled my funny bone so much, but it did. There are more where these came from if you need.

<3 from Jerusalem,
Gene

The cracks let in the light

I am thinking today about brokenness. 

Storyteller Kevin Kling's Story of the Pots,

And a 17th century haiku by Mizuta Masahide, poet and samurai:

Barn's burnt down.

Now

I can see the moon.

I want to offer us the idea that we are both broken beyond repair and that we are so beautiful and better for it. That we don't need any fixing. That the cracks let in the light.

February Grips NYC by the throat...

So living in DC now, I can't help but think back to living in NYC (with our girl Ru)and compare the two cities. There's a million ways NYC kicks DC's butt, but one is how much better the subway is than the metro. Not because of speed, access, reliability or anything like that. To me the main difference is the the people norms inside these weird people-moving-steel-capsules. I found that people on the subway are generally warm to each other, and people on the metro try their darndest (I gave up cursing for Lent) to not interact at all with anyone else. Somehow the norm DC landed on is to be cold to each other on the metro. So I've was thinking about this, and how this genius februaryproject recognizes it's a cold dark and tough month, and while I'm debating with Josh whether or not we should get a sun lamp (feel free to way in? worth it? do you just squint the whole time?!) this poem pops up! And dang if it aint this old friend, who's an especially warm person, just perfectly capturing what it is to get in a warm tube during a cold winter:

https://vimeo.com/241096895

"The Gift" - Sarah Kay from Grace Cathedral on Vimeo.

May your Februaries be full of people who warm you up!

Feb 14th: Love

Why is it so hard to remember this?:

"Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy." --Thomas Merton

And this?:

All is One.

<3

February 13th

Hi Loves! Pretend I'm Caroline :] The internet tried to keep her from posting, but we won't let the internet win, WILL WE?

"I basically just want to share this vampire parody song I wrote." - Caroline

Gnaw it Off

Caroline Landau

VAMPIRE 1 - 1 lead singer, a sassy vampire (preferably female)

VAMPIRE 2+ - 1 or more back up singers, also sassy vampires (any gender) - indicated by brackets [ ]

To the tune of Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”

I come out real late
Got nothing in my veins
Incisors lead the way, mmm mmm
Incisors lead the way, mmm mmm
I stalk into your room
Avoid the kitchen fumes
Because garlic is my doom, mmm mmm
Yeah, garlic is my doom, mmm mmm

When I smell that iron
Nothing brings me higher
It brings me such a good rush
A cheaper substitute for blush

Cause tonight I’m gonna bite, bite, bite, bite
When the moon comes out at night, night, night, night
I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off
They chase me with a stake, stake, stake, stake, stake
Or shine sunlight in my face, face, face, face, face
But I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off

They tell me that I’m gaunt
But I can stand the taunts
It’s only jealous talk, mmm mmm
Yeah it’s only jealous talk, mmm mmm
I can take ‘em in a fight [take ‘em in a fight]
I’ll call my back-up wights [call my back-up wights]

The haters gon’ go, mmm mmm
Those haters gon’ go, mmm mmm

When I smell that iron
Nothing brings me higher
It brings me such a good rush
A cheaper substitute for blush

Cause tonight I’m gonna bite, bite, bite, bite
When the moon comes out at night, night, night, night
Baby, I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off
They chase me with a stake, stake, stake, stake, stake
Or shine sunlight in my face, face, face, face, face
I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off

I gnaw it off, gnaw it off [yeah, yeah]

I gnaw it off, gnaw it off [yeah, yeah]

I gnaw it off, gnaw it off [yeah, yeah]

I gnaw it off, gnaw it off [yeah, yeah]

I gnaw it off, gnaw it off

[Interlude]
[Hey, hey, hey
Just when you thought you had
us buried and shrouded
And covered with crosses you could’ve been getting down to this dead tune]

[Bridge]
[My best friend brought her new best friend
She’s like, “oh my god, she is so undead”
To the vamp on the bed with his lips stained red
Just come over baby, we can gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
Yeah, oh, oh, oh]

Cause tonight I’m gonna bite, bite, bite, bite
When the moon comes out at night, night, night, night
I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off
They chase me with a stake, stake, stake, stake, stake
Or shine sunlight in my face, face, face, face, face
But I’m just gonna gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw
I gnaw it off, gnaw it off

Gnaw it off, I gnaw it off
I, I, I gnaw it off, I gnaw it off
x 10

P.S. Caro, how many points to the first to follow up with a recording?

Monday, February 12 (for Tuesday, February 6)

Hello all,

I am sharing a preschool-authored poem (from a class I taught last year).

The background is that we all have an invisible third eye, with which we can see everything we don't see with our other two eyes. When you close your regular eyes, you'll start to see with your Third Eye. The first line is mine and the rest is theirs.

Third Eye Poem

My Third Eye sees what my other eyes don't. 

With my Third Eye I see...

The roots underneath the trees.

I see pineapple trees, apricot trees,

An elephant -- underground,

A dinosaur eating.

With my Third Eye I see that my head is a T-Rex's fossil and my knees are my hands. 

I see an elephant at the Bronx Zoo,

I see the things inside my nose,

My heart beating.

My whole bones.

Apples growing. 

Secondly, I share a quote from my nephew that Ruthie and I really liked and seems to come in handy at times. He asked about the family dog Fenway, 

"Mama...Fenway does have his fur on to keep him cozy?"

With love,

Anna SF