Airborne End-of-February Musings

Hi all, 

Apologies for missing my assigned posting-date this year. 

This month was crazy. 

I have set-aside time to write this post over and over again in these past weeks - and somehow the time kept getting away from me. 

In a somewhat appropriate and symbolic way - I find myself flying from Israel to the US on the last day of this month - providing me with a very defined close to February and start of March. 

And perhaps because I am stuck up here above the clouds, having gotten my sleep, work-related shit, and “Independence Day” & “Hangover” screenings out of the way - I really have no excuse not to write this post as our plane slowly makes it descent over the Eastern Seaboard (literally hovering over Providence as I write this…)

A sentiment I shared this year on the annual weekend hike to Ein Harod in Avi’s memory: 

There is something about these February processes that over time has morphed into ritual. The Pesach Seder is what first comes to mind. Somehow we all know that at this given time, we come together to mark a series of past events together. There is a general outline to the structure of our engagement, but the script changes every time. Each year this moment catches us in a different place - where was I at this point last year? How am I doing? Where am I heading?  Lastly - similar to the Pesach Seder, there are familiar, familial faces that have been doing this together for as long as I can remember, and others who have more recently entered my web, and even some that I am meeting for the first time…But we all share this time period, this web, and this ritual.  

Spending time with both Yoav and Einat on Avi and Naomi’s respective Gregorian-Yahrzeit’s in these past weeks had a two-pronged effect on me: 

On one hand, being together through the mundanities of our every-day realities, and seeing how time passes, how the pursuit of meaning and direction become increasingly elusive - this month in a certain regard felt uniquely humbling and almost eerily “regular”. 

On the other hand - there is something about the 7-years that have passed since that fateful February in 2010 - that has had the effect of passing through a cloud of some sort - after years of muddled interaction with loss and the way our lives have changed — I feel a strange sense of clarity this year - I somehow feel the Mary Oliver-esque calling piercing through the years, “What is it you will do with your one wild and crazy life?” 

A few words of acknowledgement: 

• Gene, I want to reach out through the ether of this blog and send you a virtual hug. I have been thinking about you non-stop in these past two months, sending you love. I am sorry to “welcome” you to this online club - but also want you to know that we are here and will continue to be here. 
• Yoav - thank you for being such a wonderful friend. For diving deeper and deeper into the meaning of Avi’s death, and your relation to this month with every passing year. And thank you for sharing these processes so honestly with me/us. 
• Einat - my love. You have no idea what an anchor you are for this crazy virtual community. What a few months/years you have had. Just to reiterate the obvious, your wedding was one of the most magical beautiful days/weekends EVER - thank you for sharing that experience (and Dudi!) with us. AND - Good Luck tomorrow on the big test that you have been studying so insanely for all this time - you will kick it’s ass! 
• Ruthie - Thank You for continuing to make this happen, year after year. You could, like any of us, gotten busy or distracted this February and dropped the ball. But you have so simply, smoothly, and gracefully coordinated this year’s February musings just like in years past. It is NOT an obvious thing to keep afloat so consistently - we appreciate you for it enormously. 
• Extended Feb-Blog Gang: To those that I am in touch with, to those that I love dearly but have not spoken to in too long, to those I have fallen out of touch with, and to those who I have never met - this thing would not work up if we did not all show up year after year at this strange February Seder. Thank you for sharing of yourselves and for being open to what I have to share. 

Wishing everyone a HUGE Purim, 

Jonah